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Writer's pictureJohn Dunia

Growing Pains

“All the good deeds in the world cannot make up for some things.”

Last week’s article discussed the importance of continued growth and personal development, and how sometimes it happens when least expected. It’s important to make it a priority; not because it will somehow decrease but rather that there is no limit to how much growth we can accomplish.

Perhaps one of the biggest obstacles to continuing this kind of growth is because it sometimes can be very painful and alarming. Growth and development frequently mean discovering something about ourselves that is noticeably unpleasant. In fact, it can be quite troublesome especially when uncovering something about ourselves which we’ve been doing a long time and now realizing it was dreadfully wrong.

Whether the pain is physical or emotional, most of us try to avoid it at all cost. It would make sense that when our growth hints at the slightest bit of discomfort, the normal reaction would be to evade it. However, a prudent move would be to interpret that moment a challenge for us to work through it and become a stronger, more empowered person.

It is possible that one of the most frequent excuses for ignoring our growth is being used habitually without most even realizing it’s happening.

Many life coaches, trainers, and quite possibly teachers, got into their line of work because they enjoy helping others. I know that for me, there is rarely anything more exciting than when I see clients have an awakening moment during a session. To witness the look of enthusiasm replace the once puzzled expression signifying their breakthrough is a priceless moment. It’s an adrenaline rush like none other.

But no matter how exciting that moment is and how much that client is now able to press forward and overcome, it does not replace my own moments of personal growth. Even if I were to affect the lives of tens of thousands in one moment, that still would not be a substitution for my continued development.

Helping others is always a good thing. I would never recommend using your own personal growth as an excuse not to assist or encourage someone else. But sometimes under the guise of helping others, we neglect what needs to be done in our own lives and justify it by helping or diligently giving more. Each one of us must continue our growth no matter how large, small, painful, or eye-opening. No one will ever reach a point in this life where all knowledge, wisdom, and insights have been accrued.

Perhaps one of the most subtle ways we are stifled by personal growth is when confusion and uncertainty overwhelm us. We may have no idea which direction to go so avoidance is the chosen road. Likewise, the thought of anyone finding out is equally embarrassing and that causes us not to seek help. This unfortunately, is the result of years which our own shame has fed us these lies that vulnerability is weakness. If you are feeling this way, you are the kind of person I’m committed to help. Feel free to contact me directly to see how you may receive insights on how these struggles can be transformed into victories.

My thanks again to Robert J. Morales for the wonderful picture. He has quite a spectacular portfolio and is also on Instagram. I look forward to reading your comments.

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