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The Solitary Journey

Photo by Robert J Morales

“No one else will ever be able to predict the road ahead of you.”

Last week’s article discussed one of the basic ways for many to begin their healing journey. There are, however, multiple ways this road can take us. Addtionally, there may be multiple events which require healing that also involve different processes. Emotional healing is difficult enough without adding complications or burdens. So is there one, rock-solid method everyone can follow to overcome this struggle?

Just as we each are unique, so too are the individual paths to our healing. There is not a single road, but that doesn’t mean we must travel alone. There are those trained, committed, and passionate about helping with what is an often difficult and confusing task to overcome by ourselves. In addition, scientific studies have shown how simple acts as touching, self-expression through art, and meditation or prayer can manifest emotional healing. It is most definitely not something which needs to be fought by ourselves.

The most important aspect to keep in mind is not to allow anyone to make you feel badly about how your journey is progressing; especially yourself.

One of the challenging issues my clients face is worrying that their healing process is happening the way it’s supposed to occur. Sometimes our growth can be hindered due to a wayward thought or feeling which untimely runs through our minds and we get upset at ourselves for thinking or feeling it. This often triggers doubt and fear; potentially undoing any healing up to that point and ultimately stop it in the future as well. Fortunately, there is a remedy.

The first step is to understand that we are all individuals and every path is unique. The steps I took to succeed most likely won’t be the same as yours. How we react in these situations is influenced by many factors and each person responds differently. There is no scientific study or research that dictates every step of your own process and no one should demand otherwise. The only time intervention may be necessary is when people’s actions lead to harming others or themselves.

Random thoughts popping into our minds are precisely that. Random. They are not signals of defeat but simply signs of an active mind and condemning ourselves for having them is worse than the original thought itself. During these moments, instead of beating yourself up, tell yourself to “be okay” that it happened. You did not maliciously invite them nor even want them.

Sometimes trying to figure out “why” those things happen causes us to put too much attention on the dilemma and it entraps us in this never-ending quest to solve an unanswerable question. The antidote is to take away its relevance. In other words, don’t worry or care those thoughts occurred. This nonchalant approach removes the emphasis. You don’t even need to actively try and dismiss them. Just say to yourself, “oh well, it happened and it’s no big deal”. Believe it or not, this indifference to the problem will in turn give you tremendous power over it.

Next week we’ll be discussing more signs of healing as well as techniques to empower yourself along your journey. My thanks to Robert J. Morales for the beautiful picture. Find more of his wonderful work on his website. I look forward to your comments.

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