Photo By E. Rachel Thompson
After my book was published, I needed to find an inspirational quote to accompany my signature on the inside cover, one which would briefly describe the overarching theme of the book. The phrase which eventually emerged was, “Change happens when we change the way we think about ourselves”. Upon first reading this statement it may be blatantly obvious however, there is a deeper, richer meaning that may require some explanation. Please allow me to that opportunity.
How do we really make a change in our lives? With regards to self-confidence, do we simply wake up one morning and find ourselves writhing in its hangover after drinking some magic potion? Reflect on the last time you recall having a boost in your self-confidence. What caused or influenced it or what steps were taken? Did a mentor or someone you admire tell you something which sparked its occurrence? Perhaps, but it didn’t become “self-confidence” until the moment you believed it yourself! YOU had to accept it to be true about YOU or it would not have happened.
Had this mentor not validated those efforts so rigorously attempted or rather instead chastised you for a job horribly done, the reverse may have happened and could have substantially increased feelings of unworthiness. Again, it would not have occurred unless YOU ultimately accept those invalidations of YOU. This is precisely why it’s important that our own feelings about who WE are become the true measure of our own healing and growth.
Our minds are a powerful tools in personal growth but can also be the biggest stumbling block. Understand that no matter who attempts to validate or undermine our self-esteem it is ultimately we who must accept those thoughts to be accurate. It is when WE believe them that they come to pass. Others can greatly influence or contribute to how we feel about ourselves especially when we are very young and impressionable but its the acceptance of that which fundamentally makes this change occur.