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  • John Dunia

The “S” Factor

If there is one thing that just about every human being has in common is that, in one way or another, we all have to deal with shame. To be clear, shame is when we are made to feel bad about ourselves for something that we shouldn’t. For example, if you grew up in an abusive environment, more than likely you were made to feel it was your fault. In many ways, we all encounter shame in one way or another.

Society has been using shame as a tool for probably as long as we have been able to communicate. Making someone feel shameful about themselves is a way of exerting power or control. What we don’t realize is the damage that is done by using this it. Shame not only makes you feel bad about yourself at that moment, it also continues throughout our entire lifetime. The more we are made to feel shameful about ourselves, the more difficult it becomes to feel worthy and have self-esteem. It begins even to permeate our thoughts and causes us to make decisions that we aren’t even aware of that damage and sabotage our own life.

For me personally, this has been  THE biggest obstacle I’ve had to overcome as an adult. The depth and width of my shame-based thinking were so vast that it enveloped me and was such a part of my everyday thinking that I wasn’t even aware of its presence.

Since realizing the depth of my “S” factor, I now feel compelled to help others realize and hopefully understand the way it negatively influences are day to day decision making.


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