Even before last week’s article was posted, I was blindsided by this week’s topic. A very good friend of mine, Nicole Tiffany Cruz, posted her first of 10 vlogs and it didn’t take long before the subject matter clubbed me over the head. Had it been anyone else speaking the exact same words I would have discontinued watching it. But not Nicole. Although she is young enough to be my daughter, I greatly admire her opinion and have hired her on several occasions as a consultant. There was no way I couldn’t hear her out.
Nicole is an incredible young lady who is a fitness and nutrition coach and does business consulting as well. Recently, she developed a unique program called “The Super Busy Mommy Workout” which offers creative solutions for busy moms – and dads for that matter – designed to help you integrate a hectic parenting schedule with exercising and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
The video came across my timeline and I immediately hit “play”. After a brief introduction, she first grabbed my attention by saying, “Many well-meaning life coaches use this approach but I want to challenge it a bit”. I was ready to pile on with her but next she said, “It is the idea that if you really want to do something, you’ll make the time for it”.
Now this may not seem like a big deal but I frequently use this expression or a similar version thereof and there she was questioning one of my go-to slogans. I immediately wanted to know her reasoning behind it.
She softened the blow somewhat by saying this was generally a true statement then continued to explain why great care is needed to be taken before using it as a motivational tool. Sometimes in an attempt to inspire, the line between motivation, guilt and/or shame is a very thin one and what could be meant as inspiration for some may elicit the opposite effect for others.
Some of you may know that my Twitter handle is Shamedoctor1 which in short, means helping others heal from past shame. The last thing I would ever want to do is use a shaming technique while attempting to help someone but here was my friend indirectly challenging my often-used expression.
It is interesting how my ego initially wanted to dismiss it but I continued. Moving forward, this expression won’t be eliminated from my repertoire but I will think twice before I blurt it out and be prudent with its use. Motivation pushes your client to reach beyond what they believe their own potential is but there is an enormous difference between inspiration and humiliation.
No matter how many people we help transform their own lives, let us never forget that we also are a work in progress. Growth is not something we simply teach. It is also something which our lives reflect. Thank you Nicole Cruz. You can watch the video and find out more about her and the “Super Busy Mommy Workout” by clicking here. I look forward to your comments.